Wonderful Weekend

This past weekend was our scrapbooking get-away. We had a great time! Megan, Nicki, Marie, Joy and I went to a cabin, pulled out ALL of our scrapbooking stuff and scrapbooked all weekend long.

I completed 30 pages, I scrapbooked all the way up to Savannah's last week with us. A lot of it was very emotional. I scrapbooked some family outings and all of the events of Beka and Danny's wedding.

This is my favorite layout of the weekend; I have never used ribbon in my albums before and seldom use brads. The ribbon says "So Loved." We thought that this might be the last time that Savannah saw Beka.
Aren't these wedding pictures beautiful! (shameless plug for Memories by Melissa Photography).I couldn't journal on this page so I found a couple of vellum quotes to put on it instead. In case you can't read them the top one says "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

The one on the left side says "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world." I especially love the picture in the center of the layout. I have seriously considered entering it into a contest, but I don't know if I think the picture is great because of who is in it or because the photography was exceptional (I am very critical of my own work).Everyone had a good time and were all very productive. I think we all completed between 30-35 pages. Joy finished her wedding album and Megan finished my nephew's baby album. And I am slowing getting caught up.

This album may be put on hold for a while, I have tried sorting through the pictures of Savannah's last week of life and it has been rather difficult deciding which pictures not to include in the album (I think we took somewhere around 1000 pictures that week). I have sorted through some of it but it definitely is going to take a while.

As a side note: My dad is doing great, he came home on Monday night. He is resting a lot and taking it very easy but he is definitely on the mend. We are unsure of what the next step is going to be. Please continue to keep him in your prayers

Like Granddaughter; Like Papa

and yes that is the correct order.
We found out a couple of weeks ago that my dad has a tumor in his left kidney (Savannah's was in her right). This is why I have been a little MIA in the blogging world. Everything I have wanted to blog has been down right depressing and really who wants to read all of that.

He had some additional tests and found out that there is also a little spot on his right kidney but the doctors don't seem really concerned about it. Thankfully it is no where else; they checked his lungs and his bones. When we found Savannah's it had already metastasized to both of her lungs.

It amazes me how slow the doctors seem to move with adults. When we found Savannah's tumor it was removed within 36 hours. When they remove Dad's on Friday it will have been 3 weeks exactly since we found out. It is very frustrating.

The thought of sitting in a hospital waiting room waiting for my dad to come out of a surgery that is so close to the surgery my daughter had is very stressful. I have never been the type of person to have anxiety but I find myself having lots of anxiety over this. I know that my parents would totally understand if I decide that being at the hospital is too much for me. However I also know that I would go totally nuts not being there.

Yesterday was the 3 month anniversary of Savannah's death and it has been a very hard weekend for me. I carried Lady with me to every door that the kids knocked on for trick or treating, I held her all during church today. I blubbered like a baby every time someone looked at me today.

It is so hard to believe that she has been gone 3 months. I wish I could hold her again (which I suppose is why I have been carrying her bear around like I'm a 2 year old). I wish I could feel her soft skin and kiss her warm cheek. My arms ache to hold her and snuggle her. My heart feels like it is going to break in two.

Some dear friends gave Savannah a beautiful wind chime for her birthday, she wasn't well enough to open it, so she never saw it; Kiara and Donovan opened it on her birthday. They gave it to her because, like the wind, you can't see the Holy Spirit but you feel its effects everyday. With all of the wind we have had lately her wind chime blows day and night (it hangs outside my bedroom window), it is the most beautiful, clearest tone. Every time I hear it I think of her and smile, she would have loved it.

Pumpkin Carving

Well, we have been crazy a wreck MIA busy lately. I have been up to my eyeballs with work but so emotional I haven't been able to focus on it. Brian's company has been offering overtime lately(something they never do) and has been putting in 65+ hours a week. He had almost 2 months off from work after Savannah died, now we are trying to catch up.

He was supposed to go in tonight but Kiara, Donovan and I asked him to stay home with us (Thurs. and Fri. are his usual days off). Kiara, who hasn't really cried for Savannah since the funeral was really upset last night. She wanted her whole family together right now. Then she was upset because she didn't want Mommy to die before her, she said she would be too sad and that she wanted to die first. I told her I didn't think I could bear losing another child. We snuggled, cried and turned the lights off in her room so we could see the glow-in-the dark stars Savannah wanted on the ceiling (to remind her of Space Mountain).

We decided to spend the evening as a family, we went shopping for pumpkins and EVERYONE was out, we finally found smalls ones at a little local grocery store.

We spent the evening carving the pumpkins. Donovan needed a little help with his but Kiara carved hers all by herself. Lady spent the evening with us too, Kiara asked if she could take her to the store with us and then she sat on the table the whole time and watched.

Brian decided to be sentimental with his pumpkin and carved a princess on his and then wrote a message to Savannah on the back. We are going to take it up to the cemetery tomorrow for her.

Kiara picked out my design, it is supposed to be a mask. Kiara made hers with complete eyebrows, rosy cheeks and a chin. Donovan wanted his to have it's tongue suck out. They were so excited to have Daddy home. It was a great evening.

Vocabulary Lesson

When we went to Florida last November every time we saw a crocodile or an alligator this is what Donovan would say...


If you didn't catch that he said "croco-lator."

All Boy!!!

My girls are very easy going. They love to play and it is very girly. They love girly movies, girly makeup, girly dress up and anything else girly you could think of.

Donovan on the other hand is ALL BOY! He loves all things boy; trucks, cars, and much to my chagrin guns and bow & arrows.

Papa Jon loves to hunt and was getting ready for his caribou hunting trip in Canada. He asked if we would let Donovan pull the trigger if he was holding onto the gun. He LOVED it!!! He also got a HUGE lecture about gun safety and only touching them if Papa Jon was holding it with him.

Monday Donovan and I went to see Beka and Danny and to look at their wedding pictures. While Beka and Marilyn, her mother, and I looked at the pictures Danny played with Donovan. They went outside to play with Dristy, the dog, they had great fun ringing the doorbell and running (you know, typical boy stuff). Danny came in and asked if it was ok for Donovan to be with him while he shot his bow & arrow. Donovan loved putting balloons on the target and having Danny pop them. Can't you just imagine the look on Donovan's face watching Danny with that big bow & arrow? He was very excited to hold the quiver with the extra arrows in it.

(We had been to the fire station that same day with Donovan's pre-k class. He loves that fireman's hat.)

Confessions of a Scrapbooker

With scrapbooking comes lots of sorting pictures. When I was photographing in film I would scrapbook almost every picture I took. With digital photography I take so many more pictures (the cost of film and developing is irrelevant now). I no longer scrapbook every picture so sorting through them is a task. I have to decide which ones NOT to put in my albums. Now if you scrapbook like I do everything has to be in chronological order.

(Now comes the confession...) I am way behind. I am almost current with this year however, the last family album I completed was 2002. I am working my way backwards. When I get caught up with my 2008 album I put it aside and work on 2007.

While sorting through my 2007 pictures I came to when we went to Popham last year. I found this picture of Savannah and had to share it.

It was a cold day and she still went in the water. She loved to jump the waves!

Therapy-Scrapbooking

There are all kinds of therapy. My favorite kind is scrapbooking. I have immersed myself in my pictures since Savannah's passing. I have scrapbooked approximately 80 pages since her funeral. With all of the pictures I take my family album for the year has been divided in half (Jan.-June and July-Dec.) I have completed the first book of the year and am well into the second.

Marie, Nicki, Christine and I have gone for weekends to scrapbooking retreats with lots of other scrapbookers. We get lots done and have a so much fun. I have invited my sister, who also loves to scrapbook, to come along with us but for one reason or another she has been unable to go. This fall we have been invited to 2 different retreats unfortunately neither one of them work with any of our schedules.

Maine Children's Cancer Program has available to families who are affiliated with them a cabin to use. It is provided by a family, who had a child with cancer, for other families in our same circumstances to use as a get-away. Fortunately for us it close to where we live. I called yesterday to see if we could use it for a weekend to get away and scrapbook. We will be going in a couple of weeks and I can't wait. Megan will be joining us as well as Nicki's sister Betsey.