Monday, December 1, 2008

Still missing our Savannah

It is so hard to believe it has been 4 months today since our sweet Savannah went to heaven. We miss her so much.
Donovan prayed the night before Thanksgiving that Savannah would come home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. We will try to make the holidays special for Donovan and Kiara, but it just won't be the same without her here. Her stocking will get hung with the rest of the family's. Her special ornaments will be lovingly placed on the Christmas tree but our home will continue to feel a little empty without her.

We have slowly started to declutter our house. I have a nice pile on my bedroom floor of Savannah's thing. Kiara and Donovan have their special things of hers as well that they are hording in their rooms. Kiara loves to wear Savannah's clothes and jewelry. Donovan loves to pile her stuffed animals on his bed.

Her jacket still hangs with the rest of ours and her shoes are at the door. Her backpack is still hung on the back of her bedroom door right where she left it.

We went to the cemetery the other day and there is a nice blanket of snow that covers the ground except right where Savannah is buried, there is a lush green covering of grass. Hers was the only one like that. Her warmth and her love are so much stronger than any distance that can be measured.

It was also nice to see other foot prints in the snow around her site. We are glad that other people go and visit her too.


Leslie said...

I enjoy reading your blog and feel like I know Savanah (and the rest of your family) better.

Just wanted to let you know I've finished your order and will be sending it this week.
Thanks again!

Marie said...

Sorry about the lack of comment love, really, it's hard to follow such beautiful sentiments.

I cannot imagine. I just can't picture having to put away her shoes, where would you put them? I can't even bring myself to take the snowflake she made off my window, where she put it. It just isn't right. And for you, there is so much.

I just hope that when you do get to it, you know, in 20 years, you don't think it means you are forgetting. Or even moving on.

There is just no way to tell someone else what the "right" way to do it is. It's so personal. She was so beautiful, I can picture her in the jacket! I suppose you do too.

Love to you all.

Betsey said...

this is beautiful,and sad.
All night monday i couldnt stop dreaming about her, then i read this and i knew why, my dream was beautiful i'd love to tell you about it if you want to know. i know i personally didnt know her that well but her short hard life has touched so many, and she is really loved by many, and i do miss and love her so much.

Kaity Hall said...

I think about Princess Savannah every day. She's still the frequent subject of my poems and the occasional song (though the songs don't have any music yet). I also think about your whole family a lot. I hate being so far away from so many people that I love so much. I hope I can see you the next time I come home.

All my love,


Blessed Baby Boutique and Mothers' Center said...

Hey Melissa,
I was just thinking about you today. It brings me to tears when I think about (and especially read about) how much you and your family miss Savannah. Her beautiful spirit has touched so many, and continues to do so. I'm sorry I didn't know her better, but I feel blessed to have met her, and to know you, and to have been witness to such love and grace and faith. I have ready ears should you need to tell just one more person her story again, and ready shoulders should you need another pair to lean on. ~Heidi

Anonymous said...


We have never meet, but I am your cousin from Brian's dad's side of the family. Uncle Bobby was my mother's brother. Enough said about that, I cannot express how deeply sorry I am for your loss. I was informed of this when I was passing information about my own daughter's health to Lisa and Adam. If you ever need anything, please let me know:

Tracey McIver said...

I just HAD to leave a comment to express my (delayed) but heartfelt sorrow over the passing of your beautiful Savannah. I haven't checked my (old) e-mail in a while, and just saw a post updating her carepage. While I know that nothing will ever make it better, I know that our girls are playing together up in Heaven, and watch over us everyday. I have realized this past year that while time doesn't exactly heal the wound, it does make it easier. I hope the holidays aren't too hard on your family, and you are able to find the magic in Christmas, even through your grief. I will never forget you, Melissa. Thank you for your gift. You captured my daughter quite wonderfully. If you visit my website, your amazing pictures are showcased in the Photo Gallery section.

All my love,
Tracey McIver

Bridget said...

Hi Melissa,

Thanks for visiting my blog and for your comments.

I'm sorry to hear about your Savannah. I haven't read very much on your blog but I feel for you and your family. Are you a part of the blog? Many bereaved mothers contribute to it and it's nice to read about others who are experiencing a similar grief. A girl named Stephanie started the blog earlier this year after losing her daughter. She can invite you to the blog. Her site is

I happened across a book at the library a few months ago written by a psychologist in an oncology unit in New York. It was the first real book I read after Evan died. I was in tears much of the time, but it was so good to read. I highly recommend it - maybe you've already read it. It's called The Angel Letters: Lessons That Dying Can Teach Us About Living by Norm Fried.