Visiting Savannah

Last Wednesday marked 8 months since Savannah left us. It was a really hard day for me. We have frequently driven to the cemetery and just look way out across the snow to where we could see her pink christmas tree and her kissing ball. The kids always yell from the car "I love you, Sissy" and blow her kisses.

We decided this time to venture into the cemetery. The snow is all gone in our yard so we figured it had to be pretty low at the cemetery. Well we got about half way to Savannah and started sinking in up to my knees. Well we were halfway there so we decided to go the rest of the way. We only stayed a few minutes, Donovan left his jacket in the car.

I started a very emotional journey Sunday night, I began scrapbooking the pictures of the last week of Savannah's life. I only completed one page but that was enough to start with. Marie had gone to bed, Nicki had to go home and Brian was at a meeting. I didn't want to cry in front of Bill, even though I know he could have handled it, so I stopped.

Brian works late each night so bedtime is usually just me. We read scriptures, have prayers and then go upstairs. I tuck the kids in, kiss them and turn out the light. There are glow in the dark stars on the ceiling that Savannah wanted there to always remind her of Space Mountain at Disney. I stand at the door and say "I love you, Kiara." Then she says, "I love you, Mommy." Then I say "I love you, Donovan." And he says, "I love you, Mommy." Then I say, "I love you, Savannah" and Kiara and Donovan say "We love you, Sissy." It has become such a part of our bedtime routine that Kiara said to me the other night after we finished, "Mommy, I was afraid you were going to forget to tell Savannah you loved her." I didn't realize how important it had become to her.

I love you, Kiara!
I love you, Donovan!
I love you, Savannah!